Brokenness

Short accounts in short-term mission work
By George Verwer

George Verwer, founder and International Director of Operation Mobilisation, pioneered the work of O.M. on his first short term to Mexico in 1957.

Your level of humility and patience will be tested on a short-term mission. You're going to stand in lines, steaming mad, with smoke blowing out of your ears. There will be too much work and not enough people to do it. There won't be enough money. You'll encounter a complexity of problems and fiery darts from Satan that make things go wrong.

You'll experience strained relationships. Even Americans living on the same side of the Mason-Dixon line have miscommunication. Imagine what happens when we join hands North and South, throw in a few Canadians, add a few Mexicans, and go somewhere like Belgium where there are over 20 other nationalities.

What will it take to live in victory on a short-term mission? If we are going to make an impact on a hard, lost, doubting, skeptical, cynical world, it's going to mean being honest and open before God and others. It's going to take a stripping away of the window dressing. It's going to take brokenness.

Brokenness is not a word we use much, but we do find it in the Bible. In Psalm 51, written after Nathan confronted David about Bathsheba, David breaks before God: "Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice" (verses 7, 8). Later, he says, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise" (verse 17).

We see a picture in the Old Testament of the potter molding a clay pot. When it doesn't come out the way he wants, he breaks it and starts again. For us, brokenness is humility's response to the touch of God. We break and say, "Lord, You're right; I'm wrong. Your word is right; my idea is wrong."

I remember a phone call I made several years ago. I'd called John, a co-worker, about something that had gone wrong, and I'd given him a piece of my mind. (I really urge you to learn not to give away pieces of your mind; you can run out before you're 30.) Whatever I'd said on the phone had come across too strongly. As soon as I hung up the phone, the referee - the Holy Spirit - blew the whistle in my heart. I phoned John back, confronted the unkindness, and asked him for forgiveness.

We must listen to that referee. If we don't, God often lets us go on. He doesn't just rub out people because they refuse to deal with arrogance or subtle forms of pride in their lives. The mission field is full of uncrucified people. They've gone on, but they've brought leanness on themselves; they seldom bear much fruit.

As we draw closer to the Lord Jesus, and as we get more of the Scriptures burning in our hearts, we'll learn to keep short accounts before God. Often it happens without any fanfare; without even bowing our heads. We may be walking along the road and have an evil thought about a brother or sister. We don't have to roll in sackcloth and ashes. (Our cleaning bills could get very high.) We must simply repent instantly of what we've said in our hearts. The best way to be brought to repentance is to repent immediately, without anyone having to confront you.

You may find yourself arguing with God. That's okay, as long as you are bent and broken before the argument is over. I would challenge you, especially if you have a sharp tongue, to study the books of Proverbs and James about the control of the tongue. Believe God that your tongue may be crucified, and when it gets you into trouble, you'll hear the referee of the Holy Spirit, and you'll quickly apologize.

We must learn, as I John 1:7 teaches, to walk in the light with God and with each other. "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." That's the only way we can have effective teamwork. There will be misunderstandings; we'll hurt and offend one another; but we'll still have fellowship if we walk in the light.

What does it mean to walk in the light with each other? It doesn't mean bondage to the letter of the Law. It doesn't mean setting yourself up as Mr. or Ms. Corrector, but it does mean dealing with the problems that arise.

We should first set an example of brokenness in our own lives. Brokenness is contagious. As one person breaks and acknowledges sin, other people get convicted. It's hard to pray with a broken person if you're stubborn and unrepentant.

Be willing to confess your own sin. You may think the other person is 90 percent wrong and you're only 10 percent wrong, but don't wait for them to apologize first. Go and confess. You may discover that the other person will be convicted. If not, don't respond in anger, "If you don't repent, I'm taking my repentance back." We're not playing a manipulative game.

Florence Allshorn said after years of missionary work, "If Christ cannot save me from those things that jar on my fellow missionaries, then I have but a thin message of salvation, and if I cannot help my English sister get through certain selfish attitudes which create unhappiness for myself or anyone else, how can I say that I have come to help my African or Indian sister get through hers?"

What does it mean to walk in the light with people from other cultures? Two principles have helped me immensely.

First, listen. Make that your motto, especially if you're a big-mouth like me. I can remember some very ugly scenes between American and British people, because we seem so alike, but we are so different.

As guests in other people's countries, we must be careful to use proper manners. We must ask lots of questions. It's very difficult to sit down at a meal without making a mistake, so I say, "Please, don't make a big thing of it, but if I'm doing something that's a little bit wrong, maybe you could correct me. I've just been in your country for a short time, and I'm trying to learn." Be quick to listen.

Second, be quick to say you're sorry. Be willing to confess your own sin. Don't wait for the other person to apologize first.

We often run into problems as Americans because in general, we're boisterous, we're loud, we think we're the best, and we go where angels would fear to tread. I've known short-termers who go into someone else's home, take a book off the shelf, and start reading it without asking. Some people are very sensitive to things like that.

I make many phone calls to apologize for my team. I say to the pastor who has hosted us, "If the team has done anything wrong, please forgive us. We're learning."

How vividly I remember one of our outreaches in Mexico . I had a fantastic desire to hand out literature, so we dumped tracts on churches. We manipulated pastors into taking 10,000 tracts when they didn't have a clue how they would give out 1,000. A year later, I went back to one of those churches where I'd delivered a lot of tracts. I saw those tracts and thought, This is grieving the Spirit. I went to that pastor and said, "Look, we gave you these tracts last summer, and look at this."

Here I was, a little American barely able to speak Spanish, telling off this pastor. He blew a fuse. (Don't presume the other guy is more broken than you.) I blew an American fuse, and he blew a Mexican fuse. He said some things to me - I think the word gringo came out (plus a couple of others) - but somehow, in the mercy of God, I realized I'd blown it. I humbled myself before that man, and I begged him to forgive me for the terrible things I'd said. We began to weep together, and another healthy relationship was born.

I believe that without a renewed emphasis on humility, brokenness, and repentance, much missionary work ends up hay and stubble. If you don't think your team could end up in this kind of mess, you don't know very much. You see, as we move forward among the unreached people, the Muslims, and enemy strongholds, Satan is going to release all hell against us. Without that humility and awe, the love which breaks us, and the repentance that must come, Christianity is nothing.

If you're going to win people to be co-laborers, it won't be because of your great knowledge of discipleship, your great theological ability, your cleverness, or your education. If you're going to disciple people, it will happen because you're a humble, broken servant of Jesus Christ who is willing to take the hard road of humility, even when you don't fully understand it.