How to ease the shock
By
Laurel A. Cocks
Laurel A. Cocks enjoys preparing people for cross-cultural service and worked as coordinator of Pre-Field Orientation at Missionary Internship.
"Our new short-termers have launched guerrilla warfare against anything with wings or six legs. They set timetables and expect to keep them."
Reading Joy's letter, I couldn't help but laugh as I pictured a couple of Americans in battle fatigues launching an attack on gigantic insects, and then, flushed and panting, trying vainly to accomplish everything else on their list. But my laughter died as I read further the closely typed pages. Joy was reacting indignantly toward these people, and I needed to know why.
The short-termers had come to a beautiful African country for three months to help out with a specific project. But two weeks after their arrival, nothing seemed very exotic or spiritual. In fact, it wasn't just the insects they were attacking, but also the local food, the clothes, the health habits, the driving rules (or lack of them), and the multitude of other things that were culturally uncomfortable for them.
Perhaps such reactions and behavior are to be expected when people arrive in a foreign country. After all, there's a lot of newness to handle. Aren't they entitled to a little grumbling in exchange for the great sacrifice they're making to come to this place where everything is so strange?
My friend Joy doesn't think so, and neither do the nationals who are watching them. As she thinks about them, Joy feels a mixture of emotions - sadness, frustration, shame, helplessness. She doesn't know where she should begin to counter their attitudes, or if anything she says will help at all.
Though Joy is also a short-termer, she doesn't seem to have gone through much of what we've come to call culture shock. She likes her new country and finds it fascinating to learn what makes people tick. She wouldn't say it has all been easy or that there are no problems or strains, but she feels content.
What makes the difference? Her personality? Her preparation? Are some people destined to adjust to another culture with minimal discomfort, while others battle it continually and then come home hurt and soured?
Losses and Gains
Let's see what happens when a person moves into another culture. In some ways, it's not so different from any change we make in life. Remember when you were a child and your family moved to a new town; when you went from junior high to high school; when you started a new job? The new experiences piled up until you were on overload. And your inner computer was saying, "Can't continue." You may have cried, binged on pizza, locked yourself in your room, gone for long runs, or done whatever you do to deal with stress. It seemed the disorientation would never end, but somehow it did, and you made it.
You were being hit by a series of losses and gains, and it wasn't easy to manage them. When you go into another culture, you experience similar kinds of losses and gains, but in a more intense way. It's helpful to identify some of them so that when you begin your short-term assignment, you'll recognize them.
Losses you may experience:
Things you stand to gain:
There's usually a short honeymoon period when you first enter a new culture. You've looked forward to this time with great anticipation, and it's really exciting to be there at last. However, some find the first few days and weeks to be the hardest. As in everything else, we're all created differently. About a third of the way through a short term, most people take a nose dive out of the honeymoon and into reality. This may be especially true when they're mostly with the local population rather than with Americans. Severe climatic (and climactic) changes and illness also play a part.
The gains mentioned above may begin to seem more like insurmountable barriers than things to be treasured. The streets seem dirty and noisy. The market, which looked colorful and exciting in the travel guide, smells strange and is filled with foods that are anything but tempting. And you can't just look. You have to purchase food items in odd amounts, using different currency and a new language.
A national you're longing to get to know arrives an hour late, and his only excuse is that he stopped to talk with a friend. People smile at your attempts to speak their language, and then prefer to use their limited English instead of helping you. At a military checkpoint, soldiers ask to look in your boot and laugh uproariously when you show them your sandal. You're doing go-for jobs for a missionary who doesn't always seem to understand that he has to take time from his busy schedule to plan your time. How can anyone in his or her right mind call these gains?
What's happening during this time is the meeting and clashing of differences. It inevitably causes uneasiness. Before you know it, you feel frustrated, embarrassed, tense, and confused. You may be tired and want to sleep all the time, or you may have trouble sleeping. You may be irritable, even a bit depressed and homesick, with diarrhea and a headache thrown in, too.
There can be some enjoyable and highly amusing incidents during this time, if only you have eyes to see. Take that experience with the boot at the military checkpoint. To make soldiers laugh because you don't know the trunk of your car from your shoe is certainly a lot better than having them angry with you - and it makes a great story to tell when you get home. It's not always easy to laugh at yourself, but that's a quality to work on during your short term. It's simply a fact of life that misunderstanding and disharmony will result when differences meet. Just remember that this doesn't necessarily mean that you're less spiritual or less loved by God. Then let yourself laugh.
It's crucial to realize that you can choose how you'll react to cultural differences. You can decide to approach a situation or person within a new culture with acceptance, openness, and trust. If you begin this way, you're more likely to work through the frustrating, difficult times and arrive at understanding and mutual respect.
You may be wondering, "Isn't it risky to be open? Won't you get hurt and regret it if you accept someone too quickly?" It's true that there are risks involved in this, as in any human relationship. But consider the alternative: if you approach the other culture with suspicion, fear, and prejudice, you face the risk of alienation and isolation from the very people you came to get to know and serve. The choice is yours.